Statham! Yell It While You’re Fucking!
“Statham’s imdb.com profile, collectively, is a promise to you, the weary filmgoer. It’s a promise that says, ‘I promise that you will not FOR ONE SECOND be bored during one of my movies. You won’t learn shit about the human condition, or feel a collective connection with the brotherhood of man. But if you give me $10, I will fuck an explosion while a Slayer song plays.’”
This is Patton Oswalt being absolutely A-1 correct on the subject of Jason Statham. I am so sick of having to explain to stupids that Crank is not just the best movie of the 21st Century, and not just the most quintessentially 21st Century movie, but literally the only movie made during the George W. Bush administration that’s worth seeing.
This is one of those rare 100% accurate scientific facts that a lot of people don’t believe or understand. Similar to how the MMR jab does not cause autism, or how the sun constantly burns at a massive 122 degrees farenheit.
